Source: angrymedic.blogspot.com
Sounds familiar no? He is a person who has a split personality. Dr Jekyll was a good doctor, an honourable and sociable person. But there were times when he changed into an ugly, extremely mentally imbalanced person who was possessed by the opposite characters of Dr Jekyll and he has given himself a nickname, known as Mr Hyde. Am I going to tell you the story of this? Well, no. But he somehow represents most of us while we are in medical school. And it might be relevant for the doctors too.
Why do I say so? On a normal, fine day, we are the enthusiastic, inquisitive medical students who truly want to learn and indulge the wonderful world of medicine. How babies are made and born? How such small cells can give such big impacts when they malfunction? How our cheeks turn red when it is cold outside? How our brain, nerves and muscle do their work in every single thing we do? Everything is interesting, fascinating; it’s like watching the stars under the sky, or seeing a rainbow after the rain. They never fail to amuse us, every single time. This is the phase which I term us, as being Dr Jekyll.
We learn, we study and be good students. We do all this to be better doctors in the future. For some, who are doing their internship, they still continue to learn and are constantly amazed by every case that comes by in the ward every day. We never feel tired, always get excited and intrigued by what we have been taught each day. Apart from that, we must assimilate what skills we acquire during clinical teaching and train in order to be better. We meet new patients every day, where every person has his own unique story and different clinical presentations. By doing this, it is as if we are being an investigator in the CSI (crime scene investigator) drama series, who ask questions, search for evidence, examine the body, blood, urine, and the list goes on. A good doctor is someone who will always continue to look for answers and is constantly vigilant. That is essentially what a doctor needs to be.
But the sky is not always bright and the sun comes and goes. There will be cloudy days, with heavy rain and loud thunderstorms. Same applies to our venture in this medical world. Everything may seem so nice and pretty. People being wowed and impressed when we tell them we are now in med school. But as beautiful as you might perceive in the first place, the field of medicine is not simply a bed of roses. It can turn us into Mr Hyde. And yes, we CAN be that scary.
“Most doctors are prisoners of their education and shackled by their profession.”
― Richard Diaz
We often get overwhelmed when all these stressful conditions happen to us at the same time. For instance, we have countless assignments which needs to be done while the examinations are just around the corner. We need to do rounds, practice our clinical skills, and do check-ups on the patients if we are asked to do so. We are deprived of sleep, meals are skipped, pimples grow almost everywhere on our face and we get bags under our eyes which could cause us to be mistaken for raccoons! Not to forget the backaches, muscle sores that we get just about every part of our body. Everything we do does not turn out right. It’s like being “Jonah”. What is that? A friend once told me, “Jonah” is like having bad luck. And it usually happens to unlucky doctors, interns and even nurses. These are the days that fulfill Murphy’s law, where anything that can go wrong does go wrong. Every admission is a polytrauma, life-threatening emergency or complicated case that seem beyond our ability to handle. On top of that, we cannot spend as much time with our family, not to mention we hardly get our own leisure time. So, how can we stop ourselves from turning into this “monstrous” phase? It’s like we are being tortured inside out. The result? We hardly smile, we become easily agitated and cranky towards others, because we are exhausted and sometimes, we do feel that the world is being unfair to us. Sometimes without realising, our personal Mr Hyde rears his ugly head, oblivious of the other people in his path.
Most people look forward to less stressful days once they graduate, but for us, all of these starts when we first step into medical school and it only increases as we step to the next level. Thus, it is not that uncommon to hear of a student or housemen dropping out of their training in spite of doing well in medical school. Most of them are either at their breaking point or might just not be interested in this field as they only learned and entered for the sake of their parents, etc. At some level, I do understand why these things happen, because I have had my share of breaking points myself. But praise be to God, I am still on this track where I can still go forth with this journey.
In the end, it is actually up to oneself. Dr Jekyll, who suffered from a split personality disorder and ended up staying as Mr Hyde because he has lost control and the darker part of his, has conquered both, and came to ruin. This is an analogy for us. We have the power to choose. We can control our mind and decide the best for ourselves. Either by staying strong, keep being passionate, and never giving up or letting the negativity seep into our mind and later, dwell into the darker part of ours.
Our determination, perseverance, commitment and interest are the essential keys in order to pursue well in this challenging path. We will also need positivity. Positive thinking, attitude, and environment are crucial in building passionate, compassionate doctors. And not to forget, God, the one who has never stopped giving His blessings and also, understanding family and friends who will always support us no matter how bad the condition gets.
Be positive. Trust and believe in yourself. Always be passionate and do not ever give up. Last but not least, never forget to pray to God, never let all the negativity pull you down and together, let us spread the love and share the joy and fun being in this astounding, exciting yet challenging world of medicine.
Nitajul Ulfah is a 5th year medical student studying at Mansoura University, Egypt. Learn more about her and other members of the Young Columnists Program at the top menu bar.
I like the idea of your article. Although as a person who was often this “jonah” that you mentioned, it was probably the best thing for my career, although equally the most frustrating, as you learnt a lot more then colleagues who at times were “lucky” with no patients for a significant portion of their training and service.
As future graduates in these trying times, be it in Malaysia or abroad (you probably have read about the surplus in countries like Oz and NZ), having the right attitude from the beginning and also the “wanting” to be a dr will be crucial for these coming challenges. The learning never stops so banish the idea that exams are over in your final year of medical school.
In saying that, your mantra on “perseverance, commitment and interest” best sums up the attitude that we look for in our future colleagues. Keep up the good work, interest and that commitment in being the best healthcare provider and I wish you all the best in your future undertakings. When times are tough, I am always reminded by my mentor who used to tell us in our darkest times of training ” no one forced you do psychiatry” so it is for any other study and those words alone kept me moving forward and still moving forward.
Thank you, Dr Amer. Indeed, sometimes one can simply turn the bad luck into a good ones. I think it’s all about mindset & willpower. 🙂 insyaallah, aminnn. Thank you again. Do pray for all of us to be a good safe doctors. 🙂
Nice article. I think the fact that we are human means we have to accept the fact that there is a “monster” in all of us, in the sense that everyone is allowed to feel angry, frustrated and stressed once in a while when situations around us become overwhelming. Being a medical student or doctor does not exempt us from feeling fatigue or having emotions. The thing that differentiates good doctors from not so good ones is the ability to keep calm under pressure. To do this requires a few things, first of all is knowledge, because when we know what we are doing, we are less likely to be overwhelmed. The second is level headedness. This will help us deal with the most infuriating circumstances (with patients, relatives of patients, staff, colleagues) in a professional manner. I second Dr Amer, being Jonah is actually a blessing in disguise, because only in adversity is true strength & skill forged. Just remember to keep any monsters on a very short leash 🙂