Having had no previous clinical experience, I was very nervous, especially whenever an emergency occurred in my cubicle and even when diluting intravenous medication. I still remember my first time cleaning a patient’s bowel movement. I was fighting with myself due to the situation, where you could see, smell and hold someone’s faeces with your hands. Our clinical instructor forbade us from wearing the face mask. I almost threw up during the cleaning process. Thankfully one of the attendants who accompanied me at that time held my hands and said.
“Macamni Fitri, buat perlahan-perlahan, jangan takut” while I wiping the patient’s buttocks. She smiled and nodded. “Yes like that, you can do it Fitri”. The cleaning process ended by putting on a new diaper to the patient. Back in my room, I lost my appetite the whole day. I called my mother and told her about my experience. As usual, she asked me whether I wanted to quit from nursing school. No I will not quit mom, I replied, as I had many times before.
Patients can be such babies sometimes. They need constant reminders to do this and that. During my second year, I was posted in Orthopaedic unit. There was a patient who never smiled to the ward staff. I was in-charge of him for two days yet I never really talk to him. He called one of the staff nurses an elephant due to her figure. It was funny to watch him quarrel with the nurses sometimes. He had not take a bath since hospitalization. With all the courage left in me, I decided to approach him in a friendly way. He seemed reluctant at first to communicate but slowly into the conversation. He shared his feelings towards his problematic family members. His son stop schooling at 15 years old, which angered him. I persuaded him to take a bath after finishing the conversation. He agreed and tadaa! It worked! Until now, he still recognizes me when we bumped into each other in the hospital hallway during follow up.
The third year is the best in the journey of a student nurse. We went to all disciplines. My favourite was obstetric and paediatric nursing. For the first time ever in my life I watched a live birth delivery. I remember how my friends and I cheered for the mother in the labour room to give her encouragement. Push… push… push! Until she delivered. We gave her the biggest applause when she succeeded. Not to forget, the husband teared up while we cheered for her beloved wife. He patted me on the shoulder and said thank you. It was emotional, really it was. I love working with babies in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Have you experienced touching a premature baby? Do you know how it feels? It was an overwhelming experience. There were tiny innocent little humans breathing inside incubators. I wanted to take them out and kiss them on their forehead but of course it was not permitted. You don’t want to introduce infection to them, don’t you? Mental health was the most challenging for me. Psychiatric patients looked healthy as we are. You couldn’t tell that they actually have some problems going on inside their brain. One patient recited surah Al-Waqiah to me completely when I was at the nurses’ counter. He never failed to make me smile. Then, I was asked by a patient boldly, do you masturbate? Why and why not? Ark!
The final chapter in nursing school is the fourth year. I got to choose which specialization that I loved for the elective subject. Torn between critical care and paediatric nursing, I choose to work with kids. For me, paediatric nursing was very challenging as you are actually taking care of both, patients and parents. The day I was placed in Paediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), I knew this was the kind of place I want to start my career. I prefer critical care at the same time I love working with children. To watch a child fighting to stay alive couldn’t get any worse. I remember how I’d spent my shift playing Barbie dolls with one of the children. I passed the Neonatal Resuscitation Provider (NRP) examination, which I believed will be an added advantage in the future.
I believe every family member has the right to be involved with the patient’s treatment. Nurses as well as every health care provider should include family members during the treatment. The problem that I have noticed in the clinical area specifically inside the wards is that family members are often left out from the decision plans made by the health care providers. They knew nothing about the progress, the necessary procedures, and patient’s current condition. Family-centered care could be introduced to combat these problems.
Nursing has taught me many humanistic soft skills where I will never gain outside. I learned how to communicate with terminally ill patients. I learned how to persuade the patients to take their medications, I learned how to effectively listen to the patient’s concerns. I learned how to give emotional support to family members of a dying patient. All of these skills need constant practice and experience, not a merely theoretical lecture that you learn in the classroom. However, as a student, you are fated to make mistakes. I was scolded by numerous patients because of my mistakes. It helped me to grow further by learning from that yelling, cursing and badmouthing from them. You see, you need to gear up your patience if you are planning to be a nurse or otherwise please consider other options. Not everybody can be a nurse so be proud of it! While I was writing this, I wonder how my future will look ahead. Only God knows how deeply I love this noble profession. Always…
Kamarul Fitri Bin Mohd Isa is a 4th year nursing student at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia.
This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Medical Gazette.
It’s great to read something from nurse point of view. I hope MMG can publish more articles regarding nursing profession
May God bless you sir.
Lord knows how valuable a dedicated nurse is to the team. It is always a pleasure to work with nurses who are passionate about their craft.
All the very best to you.