Source: www.cornellmedicine.com
Thinking of quitting medical school?
No, you are not the only one. There will be one point in medical school where a medical student will second guess his or her decision in becoming a doctor. To be honest, even a doctor will do the second guessing too. This usually occurs when you are tired, failed a test, humiliated by doctors (hopefully not!) or just generally burnt out from the amount of information you need to know. Although, it does seem like a good idea to walk away from the hospital, leave medical school and be a famous singer instead, you might want to doubt your own doubts. Can you really live the rest of your life not being a doctor or can you be a doctor for the rest of your life?
Listen to yourself
This is the time when you should really listen to yourself. There will be people telling you how lucky you are to be in a medical school and IT WILL BE A WASTE if you decide to quit. Especially when your medical school is one of the top universities in the world. The competition to be accepted into a medical school is FIERCE and now that you are in, why would you want to let go of this golden opportunity? There will also be people telling you, life is too short to be doing something that you hate. JUST QUIT straight away. After all, you only live once and you should enjoy every moment and spending your early twenties just by reading books does not seem intriguing enough.
Ask yourself over and over again, what do you really want in life?
Be honest with yourself. Take your own time to answer the big question while putting the external factors (expectations from family, being a student on scholarship who is given 1 million ringgit to complete the degree, peer pressure and the fact that you are already in a medical school) aside. Of course, you need to open up to opinions of others but always make yours the priority.
Reminisce the moment when you decided to be a doctor
Reread your personal statement that you had submitted for medical school entry requirements. It may or may not inspire you to stay in medical school and it might remind you why you are here. I somehow manage to convince myself that medicine is still for me, it is just that I need better reasons on why I want to be a doctor. (Apparently, after learning anatomy for one semester, surgery is a no-no for me!)
“When love-related hormones were produced, fast rhythm of heart beats, and sweats of enthusiasm conquered my body, I knew I have fallen in love. Being in the operation theatre to witness a Coronary artery bypass surgery was an electrifying moment for me. Thirsty for more exposure of a doctor’s life, I did hospital attachments every school holidays. After following doctors doing ward rounds endlessly, stayed with them during clinic hours, helped the nurses with simple procedures and went to operation theatre, I realised operation theatre gave me a stir of enjoyment. Doing hospital attachments were the lights that guided me to become a surgeon. The scenario at the operation theatre supplies me with sense of belonging. Surgeons and anaesthetists collaborating, nurses always with their helping hands. They were almost similar to unique musical instruments producing harmonious melody.”
Also, I recalled so many inspiring events when I did hospital attachments. A young lady who has gone through dialysis for nearly 8 years yet never fail to smile during the whole process. Autistic kids smiling and hugging me when the some textbooks warn they may not make eye contact and tend to flap their arms all the time. A woman who could not hold her tears of joy when the doctor said she is finally pregnant after so many years of trying. I remembered talking about these experiences during my medical school interview. I told the interviewer that I want to be part of these miracles. I want to help people fight against the odds and be part of their journey. Then, I realised it is crucial to whole-heartedly feel what you write and tell. You can lie to the interviewers, but you cannot lie to yourself. After all, it is you who has to do the degree, not them. Try to think about what made you agree to be a doctor in the first place.
Source: aspiringdoctors.tumblr.com
Figure out what is it that you do not like about medicine
Every time I want to quit in something, I always ask myself “Do you want to quit because it is difficult or because you do not like it?” If the answer is difficult, then I have a bad news for you; things that are worth having would not be easy.
If you hate medicine because of the amount of information that you need to know is too much, maybe the solution is to increase the number of study sessions but reduce their duration. For example, studying for 2 hours 3 times per day is much better than staring at the books for 6 hours straight. If you hate a particular topic or subject, you just have to be patient. Just because I hate immunology, it does not mean I want to quit medicine and forget my dream of becoming a psychiatrist.
It is okay to have mixed feelings. I want to be a doctor when I am in awe with the fact that each kidney has 1 million nephrons! But I do not want to be a doctor when my lecturer says I cannot percuss properly. There was a time when I wanted to be a doctor because I am in awe with the fact that we have 86 billion neurons in our brain! But then again, I do not want to become one when all the slides in histology lab look the same! It is ridiculous! Other times, where I want to be a doctor because I love medicine pickup lines! Yet, I do not want to be a doctor when I have to learn about Krebs cycle. The point here is, to love everything about medical school would be magical (only the chosen ones will feel this way) but what you can do is, try to find solutions or other ways to compromise. However, if you do not like blood, needles and people, then you might need a longer time to reflect on your decision.
Join a medical related program
Maybe reading too many books makes you forget how nice it feels to have interactions with people. It does not have to be a specifically medical program; any program that you can relate it back to medicine should be okay.
I was lucky to be given the chance to be a volunteer for Special Olympics Asia Pacific Games. I was assisting one of the athletes because he had high temperature and had to be hospitalised. At that moment, I was still doubtful whether or not I should proceed being a medical student. However, while spending time at the hospital with him and I subconsciously “googled” “why kids with down syndrome have low blood pressure” made me realize how I have become a typical med student and maybe that is a sign I should stay as one.
Have a lunch session at the hospital on your own
I wish I was kidding with this point, but I am not. What is a better place to reflect about your decision if it is not the hospital? (or clinics). You are going to spend the rest of your life here. Have lunch there on your own and ask yourself all the big questions. Bring a journal or paper and pen for you to write if you need.
Source: www.freepik.com
Listen to yourself again
It is very important to listen to yourself. Even if you have gone through all the five things that I have suggested and you discover that you do not want to be a doctor but however deep deep down you still want to be a doctor, then listen to your heart.
No matter how insignificant your reasons to be a doctor can be, (or why you did not want to be a doctor) they are still your reasons. Own it.
Honestly, I wish I can tell everyone that I have this one big solid reason on why I want to be a doctor. I do not have it. My reasons for being a doctor are a small collection of bricks. They seem insignificant, but good enough to build a home around me for me to escape when life really knocks me down. Also, I am going to live in my body for the rest of my life. I do not want to be reminded everyday with the knowledge that I have learned and feel regret for quitting. I will remember about pH while breathing, joints that are being used when I move my wrist, a trigger zone in my brain when I feel I am about to vomit, neural crest when I see a sign saying crest at the junction near my house, bowel movements when I am eating, amygdala, which is a part of the limbic system in the brain that is used when I am being emotional, adrenaline rush when I am in love and when I feel excited, enthusiastic about something and the list goes on. Medicine has become part of my life that it seems impossible to let it go. Nevertheless, if medicine is sucking out the colours of your life, maybe it is time to let go.
Good luck in making your decision.
“The sign of a good decision is the multiplicity of reasons for it.” – Mary Doria Russell, Children of God
This article is written by Arlina Arshad, a first year medical student at the University of Newcastle, Australia. Know more about her under the Young Columnists tab.
This is a well written piece and timely. More than ever is your reasons and wants to be a medical doctor tested through various issues which have been raised recently such as the possibility of unemployment (be it Malaysia or elsewhere), litigation, under appreciation etc. I too believe, as you have raised, that by knowing what you want out of your life than only will you be able to cross the many hurdles that medical school and its training have in store for you.
In my own class, a number had quit medical school halfway through, some after graduating, some after housemen and many who planned to do a speciality like surgery, cardothoracic or even psychiatry had decided on another career pathway. Many of these same individuals are successful and happy with their present choices and jobs. I recall an extremely bright chap who opted out of medical school mid-way (3rd year) to do a research year and never came back. We found out that he is a professor in a leading UK university when he came out on television! giving his scientific opinion on a certain issue. I heard this when I was not even thirty, meaning he had made it that far despite not completing his medical training.
So there is life if you did complete medical school, and for those who decide to continue as I did, there is life after medical school as well. Just make sure you know what you are getting yourself into when you signed up in the first place and everything will be fine thereafter. Good luck in making YOUR right choice and not the right choice of others.
That’s a really great comment you wrote Dr Amer. Very balanced. There’s a phrase saying “success is when you’re doing things that you love” and I guess its really true. Thank you for sharing your story. I will definitely read your comment again and again when I need some motivation. 🙂
Well written, kudos to the author. It is important to always remember that you are not alone in this situation, many others have walked the same path as you. However, no-one can walk it for you. So even though it is important to consult others when making major decisions in life, the decision should never be made for you. You are right, everyone has their own reason for being a doctor, it does not necessarily have to be a “divine” calling to heal the world that drives you (though that would be a VERY good reason indeed), but whatever the reason, hold on to it, remind yourself of it always and remember, reasons can change along the way so the reason you had at the start may not have to be the reason you hold on to in the end.
Your comment reminds me of my friend. She wanted to do medicine because she said she wanted to marry a surgeon (I think she was kidding but somehow it sounded so real) but eventually she fell in love with surgery and planning to be a surgeon instead of marrying one. Hehe. And yes, I’ll try my best to put helping patients as my main reason why I want to be a doctor. After all, without them, we won’t be here. Thanks Dr Hidayah for the comment.
Splendid article 🙂
Listen to our heart,medicine is not for the intelligence,its for those with passion and dilligence,thats what our professor taught us back in my 1st year in med school,so to stay in med school or this medicine field might be tough,but i strongly believe that passion and dilligence will help us along the way,if God’s will
Kudos to you!
Thank you so much! I hope my burning passion to be a doctor will last forever and yours too. 🙂 Thanks for reading this article.
Well written article. 🙂
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain” -Vivian Greene
Thank you for reading it. That’s a nice quote btw!
I am currently studying my first semester in medicine.
First semester was hard, and I actually failed something important in my life for this first time – anatomy exam.
It was heartbreaking, and made me waver whether did I make the right decision to step into medical school.
It made me to think, if I can’t even pass my puny small first semester exam, how am I gonna survive this long and hard storm ahead of me?
And then I stumbled upon your blog post. It made me to recollect why I wanted to join med school at the first place.
Thanks to you, I will try to hold onto the good things being in a med school can give. And see whether I can persevere.
I hope anyone in the same situation as me will find light in your post.
Cheers!
Hi Mark, Im glad my article find its way to you. Anyway, you are not the only one. I failed my first year and because my uni doesn’t offer re-sit system, I had to repeat the entire year of first year. It was traumatising and very painful but it also taught me couple of valuable lessons too. If you can get into med school, you can go through med school!. Good luck in life!
Hey Mark, I know how that feels. I’m a final year student now. I failed my anatomy exam on my first year too btw. And don’t worry about it, that just means you have to study twice and hopefully the extra studying will benefit you in the long run. I’m on my surgical rotation now and whenever there’s anatomy related question from the surgeons, I’ll answer them with a breeze! 🙂 Chin up. And study!
im totally agree the fact that just get yourself involve in more activities that are medical related – i think that is how i cope myself when i started Medicine 3 years ago. failing to fly and that forced me to change my course from dentistry to medicine. 1st year in medical school was a bit fluctuating for me…nevertheless, i keep searching for the ‘love’. the passion. till i made to the clinical years and meeting real patients. i guess this is perfectly suit myself when i could see the miracles happen and be a part of it. finally found my happiness.
nice post Arlina. keep it up! 🙂
Im so glad you found your love Lisa! I’ve always admired your love for people! Keep being awesome!
Inspiring! Reading your article plus all of the other comments make me thinking how fortunate I am in some other side. Need to re-sit for my ophthalmology paper this June. After reading how brave you guys even you had to repeat the entire year make me much stronger! Thanks a lot.
Hi Izzat, thanks for reading my article. Im pretty sure you’re going to ace that paper! Eye believe in you. (Sorry for the terrible pun) Good luck!
A well written article! I am in the midst of switching to dentistry but I will give it a second thought 🙂
Well written Arlina! Years ago I too failed second year medicine and had to repeat the whole year. It was devastating because I had never failed any exams before in school. I did not like biochemistry because of all those things like Kreb’s cycle. But I persevered and put in more time to understand those cycles and cleared medical school. Housemanship was tough with a young family to look after..yes I felt like quitting but who would pay for my scholarship contracts? Well I kept on plodding while also praying hard that Allah would make it easy for me and my family. 20++ years later, I am still in government service; with 6 kids, followed by a Masters Degree behind me, Alhamdulillah! So young doctors, don\\’t despair..the path is tough but it is worth it..despite all the sweat and tears..all those will enrich you and make you a better person and a good doctor..insyaAllah. Off course a very good support system helps – like friends, extended families and of course you beloved spouse.
I’m currently in my fourth year of medical school and currently in O&G rotation which is the toughest of all the rotations I’ve been in. I was one of those kids where my parents had forced me into medical school and after 4 years I am still looking for a reason to make me stay and the only reason that kept me going is because my parents had spent too much on this, I’m too far along to quit and if I quit I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. Being in O&G right now, with the long hours, the constant humiliation and frequent scolding because everyone is just so high-strung and needs a punching bag and medical students and HOs are the easiest targets makes me imagine my houseman years which I know will be so much worse than this. This is just making me rethink whether are all those reasons good enough for me to stay. To put with these for years when I go into my medical training for something I am not passionate about makes my future seem so bleak and honestly I don’t know whether will I be able to handle it.
I really want to give up but I’m just afraid of what’s my next step. How my parents will take it? The small little reasons that you’ve mentioned that is worth staying for.. I enjoy speaking with patients and as you mention being a part of their journey to recovery is truly an amazing feeling but I just can’t help but feel that it may not be enough for me to stay for medicine when I barely enjoy what I’m studying.
But at the same time I really want to stay because I don’t want to give up and I’m not the type to leave things undone but I’m still looking for reasons to make stay. So in conclusion, I’m just lost and just barely hanging in there trying to survive each day.
Hello Jaynie,
I may not fully understand your situation as I am still in second year, however I know the feeling of wanting to quit badly. In fact, I am taking a semester off because I am too burnt out. Some people said, “What? Second year and you are already burnt out?” Well different people have different struggles. Sometimes, in life, you just have to follow your heart, I know this is very cliche but its cliche because its true. Because only you understand and feel your struggle.
Do what your heart tells you. Explore your other passions. Do things that makes you feel alive. After all, you only have one life, you might as well create a life that you enjoy to live in.
I read this one book about decision making, it talks about listing down pros and cons of your decision and later on you weigh it. This is quite a common practice I reckon. However the book also talk about not so famous way to make decision, which is “try and error” which I find quite interesting. Maybe you should take a break a while or pretend for a day that you’re no longer a med student…and dont be afraid to explore your feelings.
Currently I am pursuing media related stuff and also theatre & film during my study break. I was very afraid at first because I thought maybe after all Im going to ditch medicine. However after quite a while, I realised I cant go through a day without thinking about medicine.
But of course, that is my story. So now, you have to figure out what’s your story. As the author of your book of life, what do you want to write in the next chapter?
Good luck with your decision.
Hi Jaynie,
There is a saying that goes,”When the going gets tough,the tough get going.”
If you think doing O&G is hard as a med student, you are wrong. There are worse things in a doctor’s life than doing O&G as a medical student. But doctors are just that, we don’t know when to call it quits.
We don’t know when to give up.
https://www.mmgazette.com/are-you-sure-you-want-to-be-a-doctor-dr-kamal-amzan/
Be that as it may, you should quit if you really want to. If that makes you happy. But don’t quit because of how some “old” consultants and doctors make you feel.
Don’t quit because of your grades, nor how some patients make you feel. Don’t quit because of the sleepless nights.
Quit because you are not interested. Quit when you have exhausted all hope and dreams on Medicine. On serving a greater cause rather than how some inconsiderate, crass doctor, bad grades make you feel.
On the same note stay because of your passion. Persevere because it has been your dream to be called a doctor, to have enough knowledge to save and give hope to those in pain, and given up the idea and thought of living. Stay the course to improve their lives, their families and loved ones.
Don’t stay because of your parents. Your friends. No matter how significant you think their opinions are right now, the only opinion, and the only one who will live with the regret is you.
Live doesn’t end with Medical School. It begins, and starts after that. Medical School is just a chapter in your life that you will have to go through and every challenge you face will make you a better doctor, friend, son/daughter, and most importantly a better human being.
Choice is yours. Make an informed decision, and move on.
DKA
Hi Jaynie, I can’t tell you how similar our situations are. Mine is a bit different though since I am studying in the Philippines. I only have 4 1/2 months to go before I finish and take up the licensure examination. The similarities however with your situation and mine is surprising since my parents also paid for all my tuition fees and I just followed what they want not knowing that deep down inside, I was slowly killing myself until I was just a hollow jar ready to be broken with a single stroke. It finally happened just this month (August) that I became depress and started thinking of suicidal thoughts as my only means of escape. Going to the hospital was already a big chore for me even duties that are not toxic seems overwhelming to me. I stopped seeing friends and talking to people and the mere sight of patients or the hospital gives me a bad feeling inside that I can\’t explain. However, I finally had the courage to talk to my mom and what surprised me was that they were very supportive of my decision (not financially, but emotionally). The same thoughts racked my head such as I have gone a long way, why not finished it? But slowly i thought, is it worth it? will I be the same after all this? I used to be a very happy guy, always smiling, laughing, that was while I was taking my Junior Internship/Clinical Clerkship. When I applied for my first LOA, everyone was shocked, they did not expect of all people that I would apply for a leave since all the while they thought I was happy. They never really saw the inner me. My parent kept on pushing that time and finally I did finished my Junior Internship, however, Senior Internship/Post graduate Internship was a different story. I kept forcing myself to love medicine, to look at the positive side of every rotation and every duty day, finally, after two leave of absences, I gave up. Loving something and forcing to love something is two totally different situations. For me, looking for reasons to stay is good, but if it is affecting you so much to the point that you think you are losing yourself before even finishing it, is it really worth it? What they say is true, life is too short to make the wrong decisions, but can you see yourself being a doctor for a lifetime?You can decide to finish it and then take another career path like teaching, being a professor, or even have administration jobs in the hospital. They say that having an MD opens many different opportunities. It is really up to you. We can mold the life we want in any ways we want just as long as there is passion and love in what we do and doing what we really love. If you love what you do, you don\’t have to work a single day in your life. (adopted from Confucius) 🙂
This is a well written piece I thought it was written by a doctor but a first year medical student! My point is the maturity of the content it carries and it made me in awe.
Nevertheless, I am currently in 3rd year of med school and I am considering of quitting med school too. I like the part where you wrote “listen to yourself”. It made me re-thinking of the situation I am in now and given all the circumstances and occasions, it seems to pointing out to actually considering what I really wanted in the first place. Truth to be told, the news about influx of graduates by 2015, security of getting a job (being a JPA scholar doesn’t really guarantee a job even, despite the bond) and personal reasons made me reconsider my decision, to take that leap of faith to discontinue or continue to persevere throughout the way. Stumbling upon this article has given me better insight to what I want to decide.
For now, I put them aside and focus on my exams, until the holidays come and given the long period of holiday, I might want to reconsider it because I don’t want to decide just because I felt burnt out either (like what you’ve said earlier).
Thank you so much for this article and may you become successful in whatever the future holds for you 🙂
Salam. I was a medical student before and in my first year I had failed 3 minitests and two final exams which means I failed my 1st and 2nd blocks and I only did halfway through the 3rd block before I dropped out bcos I just couldn’t cope with the failures and it really does put me in the lowest available place ever.Currently, I’m doing accounting but at the same time I’m having a post medic syndrome. HahahaHowever, now that I have become more motivated that I just wanna prove to myself that i can actually do medic but is there still a chance for me to reapply admission into any medschool? Will they accept me? Please reply. It would be much appreciated if you could give me your honest opinions. Thanks in advanced.
Hey..Your article made realize many things..Im currently a first year medical student and planning on quitting..sounds absurd and ridiculous when just like what you mentioned, everyone wants this opportunity that i have..Since i was young i wanted to grow up helping people. I did not know when it started but part of me felt that this profession is not for me..Im not really of a peoples person but I want to help others.Seeing the smile on their face and kmowing just for a little while, we made them feel better. But now, it just feels like my heart is not in it the moment i got this course..It just becomes a burden and im not happy with it.. But reading your article, it made me realize that it is okay to quit..It is okay if this is not meant for me and it is okay to pursue something else that i actually love. Thank you and I hope the best for you in your future 🙂