What To Do When Your Friend/Family Has HIV – Dr Nur Hidayati

I had an email from an old acquaintance asking this question. The sender’s friend was just diagnosed with HIV. The sender did not know how to respond. He wonders what should he say and what should he do with that information.

First of all – just be a good friend. Your friend trusted you enough to make this disclosure. Reassure them that they can trust you to keep this confidential – if that is what he/she wished. Remind them that you are his friend regardless of his HIV status. Tell them, they are not alone and you are there to support him.

He might have doubts about how his life would be. He will wonder whether he will die from AIDS. Just tell them that that would not happen to him.

Your friend might not believe you.

‘Having HIV infection is a death sentence. HIV is incurable. Why try? Why should I get treatment? ‘

You have to make him see that this is no longer true. More people living with HIV are able to live longer and healthier. Being HIV positive does not mean that they will definitely end up dying from AIDS.

Now, ongoing research on HIV have enabled us to further understand this disease. Newer and better anti-retroviral therapies (ART) are being discovered. These therapies have managed to suppress virus replication inside infected individuals to the point that we unable to detect the presence of the virus in their blood. People living with HIV now are able to live a normal life – have a job, travel, get married and even have HIV-negative children.
But this will only happen if your friend starts treatment. Help him find a doctor that can manage his HIV infection. Get him access to good resources on HIV to know more on his condition. You also can get him to contact local HIV support groups.

But the best thing that you can do for him is still always be a friend that he needs. That would be the greatest thing anyone can do.

For more information on HIV in Malaysia

• http://www.temanteman.org
• http://www.mac.org.my/v3/i-want-to-learn-more-about-hivaids/
• http://www.klass.org.my

Access anonymous HIV screening at PT Foundation

• http://ptfmalaysia.org/v2/

Learning more on HIV – international websites

• http://www.thebody.com/

Dr Nurhidayati is a permanent columnist for The Malaysian Medical Gazette and an internal medicine physician.

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